Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Generation Swine

Going to so many doctors means filling out so many information forms. I have no idea what to put in the occupation section. I don't really have one. I have a pitifully small paying job that apparently has forgotten I exist and I can't very well put them down (and I don't know how I'd translate it to Turkish) and it's been a year now since I've finished grad school so I can't say student and have the easy way out. So I put "writer" and grimace every. Single. Time. I can't even write writer without cringing and half-expecting alarm bells to go off along with a booming voice chanting, "Liar, liar, fake, fake, liar, fake, fa-" you get the idea. So in order to feel less like a fraud, I invite you over to MetalSucks where my third piece is out (I guess technically fourth because although the editor wrote about Phil Collen from Def Leppard's new marriage, I tipped him off!) and it's The Ten Best Hair Metal Band Names.

I'm kind of proud of how quickly I got over having any sort of reaction to comments. I usually take things to heart, hard. So, praise makes me feel almost stupidly happy and stays with me forever (like one nice commenter saying a certain description had him falling out of his chair laughing) and criticism kind of punches me in the throat and haunts me even longer (a certain professors comments on a short story I wrote my junior year come to mind). Now, it's more like a feeling of disappointment that people can be that stupid. My boyfriend forwarded me this cartoon and it couldn't be illustrated any better.

Though, I have a winner for favorite comment. It's hair metal week at MetalSucks and of course, there are the people who get all self-righteously angry and call it an abomination and blame it for sullying the good name of metal. No darlings, it's you who give metal, and metal fans a bad name. Not Bon Jovi ("shot through the heart and you're to blame..."). There's an ongoing countdown of bands that commonly get miscategorized as hair metal and Quiet Riot were on that list. I included them on my best hair band names but my introduction clearly stated that I borrowed bands that probably weren't strictly glam bands because for God's sake, have you ever heard their names? They are not good my friends, not good at all (this list highlights that). So of course the first comment was, "They're miscategorized as hair metal but have the best hair metal name?'


But hold up. Sweet vindication came in the form of a comment back. It was something along the lines of, "Dude, it's two different writers. There isnt just one person called MetalSucks." Yeeees. There you have it. Different people, diffferent opinions. This is why we are not all clones of one another; we have separate brains and views. How hard is that to get really? My favorites are the ones that insult the site and say they can't believe they still read it. My good sir, it's a free site that has original, entertaining, and often informative content. It doesn't cater mainly to you and no one is forcing you to read it but of course you'll continue and it'll be for those very same reasons, as well as the fact you think someone will read your comments. Well, I did so I guess you win but let's not go there. People are so dim sometimes. Alice Cooper might not be glam but Trash is the very definition of a glam album so it makes sense it should be on the "Ten Best Must Have Glam Metal Albums." A musician or band doesn't have to be of a certain genre to put out an album within it. There's no point in trying to explain these things or comment back so I think it's a healthier alternative to take out my frustration on here. It's like when you meet a dangerous animal in the wild; DO NOT ENGAGE.

But I don't care what you think heavy metal elitists, hair metal rules! Long live glam!
This was a t-shirt on Threadless but I can't remember to whom credit belongs. I have the Turkish rip-off of it.

Did I mention, I'm seeing KISS in August? Oh yeah.

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