Thursday, June 24, 2010

Like a Muse Part 6: Megan Fox and Diablo Cody

I kind of hate myself for this. But, this is the blog of honesty right? It's not? I get to make up my own rules? Holy hell I could stop writing RIGHT NOW? Golly gee whiz ok!

Nah, I know I can't.

So I still hate myself for the next, okay I don't want to call her a muse. Let's just say, "person on my radar." I think everything she says is carefully crafted by an ingenious publicist and thus she is full of crap. I think she has had too much surgery at too young an age especially since she didn't need it. I think she has been manufactured to be the teenage boy's hot girl fantasy come true and like all young starlets kind of lets her ego get the best of her as illustrated by her tendency to spout off about everything and everyone.

But then she goes and stars in Jennifer's Body which was complete shit and yet, I loved it.

Megan Fox is usually portrayed as so aggressively sexy that it could turn off even the horniest of men. So naturally, women have to hate her right? God I despise my gender sometimes. Especially here in Istanbul where a woman will pointedly eyeball another woman. I mean, girls just adapt a generally bitchy air when they see a girl not part of their herd! I got to witness this when I was out with my sister and a group of girls her age wandered into the same store as her. It's unbelievable and stupid and just STOP IT. Anyway, so Megan would is the kind of girl tacky magazines describe as, "the one you love to hate." I don't love to hate her. I'd be quite happy not feeling anything about her. But I like her. Eh, at least she's not trying to remain relevant by thoroughly trashing herself and her life. Megan Fox might come across as trash but if you push aside all the hype and gossip; she's a girl that's been with the same guy for years and has yet to be photographed coming out of a club with her ass hanging out. I know that doesn't seem much to aspire to, but in Hollywood, that's damn impressive. I don't buy in to the new Angelina Jolie bullshit either. Blue eyes, dark, hair, and tattoos do not the same person make. I've got two out of the three myself and believe me, I don't compare myself to either woman. But the world needs drama and when there isn't any, some will be created. Or lied about. Honestly, sometimes I just hate the movie business.

Figures I'd want to be a screenwriter, I tell you, I am a masochist.

Part 2 of why, why, why must I like you, goes to Ms. Diablo Cody. For the record, I enjoyed Juno the first time I saw it. The second time it kind of grated on the nerves. And I also had fun during Jennifer's Body. Though it had it's painful moments. But past all the "hip" dialogue everyone seems to have a problem with, this is a woman screenwriter whose name everyone knows. Shes not an actress, she's not a director, she's a screenwriter. Screenwriters do get some prestige because ok, where exactly would you get those classic movies if there wasn't someone to write them in the first place? But while you could spout off name after name of actor, actress, director, I dare you to name ten screenwriters in a row. Okay, think you're smart? Name ten female screenwriters. Gotcha.

Diablo Cody might be annoying, and hipster-y and generally piss the pants off everyone but I like her. I like that her writing tastes are about quirky females that don't subscribe to the regular quirky female stereotypes like the faux-ugly one, or the klutzy girl, or the Mary-Sue that everyone loves and is so gorgeous yet doens't know how wonderful she is (cue any girl love interest in any film, ever). She's the creator of United States of Tara which is so weird and so engrossing and she's just finished working on her adaptation of the Sweet Valley books. Okay, I admit, I was huuuuuge Sweet Valley fan. But just the middle school and high school years. Usually I always gets riled up when books or films or toys precious to my childhood get meddled with (have you seen the new My Little Ponies? They're awful. Not to mention, why oh why would you ever want to remake Sleeping Beauty as a live-action film starring Angelina Jolie. That's enough to make me swear off of Tim Burton forever, God knows I've given him plenty of chances so I just hope this remains as a rumor), but I want to know what she would do with it. Because I trust she'd keep the original air of it but add her kicky humor that annoys everyone else so. I usually would be annoyed with someone like this. Someone that seems to be pretentious for the sake of being pretention aka a hipster. But meh, Cody's all right with me. And I really did enjoy her book, "Candy Girl...", about her years as a stripper. But then, I always have a soft spot for strippers who favor hair metal. It's just classic. And I intend to follow in her footsteps and wear something equally awesome and tattoo-revealing when I accept my Oscar for Best Screenplay.

I can dream, shut up.

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