I'm stealing the title of the post from my cat's blog. How sad is that? How much sadder is it that my cat has a blog? And that her posts are infinitely more fun to read? Go read them, she is very bright and computer-savvy. Like A Mews. Even my cat makes fun of my blog name.
I'm having a bad day. This is not your cue to sing that song. You know that song. The one that goes, "You had a bad day something, something, something, something you had a bad day." You know what I'm talking about. I hate that song. I hate it so much. It's whiny and self-indulgent and just a terrible, terrible song. It's so bad! I hate it! It's stuck in my goddamn head now.
The cherry on the icing of my shit sundae today came when I checked the mail and my Cat Fancy Magazine was not in it. How sad is it that not getting Cat Fancy is what's tipping the scales? And no, I didn't subscribe myself to it. I'm not that pathetic. It was a gift from my thoughtful boyfriend. He bought me a year's subscription. It would be truly pathetic if I got myself a subscription to Cat Fancy. I'll probably renew it at the end of the year. They're featuring a Bombay cat on the cover this next month and I want it as my kitty is a Bombay cat. I saw it when I was at Petco. I went to Petco two days in a row. To get cat food for my cat and to take my cat to get her claws trimmed. Because I don't like getting a blood transfusion every time I try to do it myself. I like Petco. I like all the animals they have. This is why I shouldn't be allowed to go to Petco. I waste precious "writing time" there, trying to get amphibians to love me. Except nowhere else carries my spoiled fat kitty's food. Science Diet Light for ages 1-6, "for optimum weight control," if you were curious. Let's take a moment to look at the pictures I took as I stood there wishing I could own every animal there. Especially the bug-eyed, long-tongued variety of animal.
I took a picture of a goddamn tarantula and thought it was cute. What is wrong with me?
I would like a skink one day though. The one they usually have was not there anymore. I hope he got a good home. Skink spam!
They're so very cute with their blue tongues. I wish to own many. There were other lizards there too. I got to watch them eat lunch. They chomped on live crickets and made the best faces.
Awww, they're kissing. Oh skinks. You inspire sonnets you muses of the reptile world.
So I'm having a bad day. I've gotten rejected so many times from so many jobs that when I got today's rejection email, I didn't even remember applying to the place. Just as well. It was in New York.
I really wish I had my Cat Fancy. Looking at cute kitties calms me down. Oh screw you, I like animals. Leave me alone.
I'm working on a novel and a screenplay. How pretentious does that sound? How sad is it that I can't get moving on either one even though I have piles of notes on my phone, on my iPod, on the sticky notes on my computer, and various other places. Isn't it sad that the reason is okay, what if I do write them. And manage to edit them well. Then submit them to Gersh who said I could. Then what? They're just going to read and give me coverage? Piss on that, I can do that myself thank you very much, it's my goddamn job. Or worse, send it back and say meh.
I'm having a bad day. My cat keeps peeing in secret corners. She also gets scared after pooping and runs out of the bathroom with her litterbox and wipes her paws like a madwoman on my rug. I really don't know what to do. She obviously has some bathroom trauma that I can't fix. Maybe I need a pet psychic. Maybe I need my damn Cat Fancy, it could have helpful advice. Maybe it's a Bombay cat thing but I won't know until the damn issue arrives.
Oh, but I got a letter from my best friend. She included a full-page ad for SPAM (with an exclusive offer for sterling silver spoon rings on the back) and a picture of us in fifth grade.
I'm the ugly dork in glasses. She's the one in the middle. The other girl is someone who went to elementary and middle school with us. I'm friends with her on Facebook but beyond that I don't think I've talked to her in about ten years.
I hate that, "You had a bad day," song so goddamn much.
She also sent this picture of a fire extinguisher dressed up in a bandanna and straw hat with a card calling me an, "awesome and bestest friend."
I guess it's not that bad a day. As long as I have a picture of a fire extinguisher dressed up in a bandanna and straw hat.