Şeytan Azapta

Fine, I will update, stop bullying me.

A lot has happened in my fabulous, jet-setting life. A lot. The person I am right now no longer has any similarity the person you last knew, who updated a little over a month ago. You will be shocked! Surprised! Horrified! Bewildered! You will OOO! You will AAA! Prepare yourselves because...

No I'm just kidding. Nothing of interest to report. Have a picture of my hair taking over me.



Real update might come later. Might not. You're not the boss of me, Internet.

Eyes Without a Face

I'm a little bored of the old layout so back to my MS Paint collages because that's the extent of my skill. I've always been intrigued and grossed out by eyes and since this blog is kind of edging out from just being the Like A Muse project to just me, I felt it was a nice, neutral lay-out. I'll probably go back to the old header at some point since I saved it.

In Egypt and Western occult traditions the left eye is considered a lunar trait and a symbol of northern direction. The right eye is a solar symbol and represents southern direction.

The "third eye" is referred to as the spiritual eye, the intuitive eye, or the eye of the soul. It is associated with the brow chakra (or Ajna chakra) which facilitates intuition and extra sensory perception. The third eye is depicted on the forehead of Shiva, and is symbolic of the inner eye that sees all things within a cosmic perspective.
In Dreaming the meaning of eyes indicates an opening into a new dimension. This is symbolic of your vision clearing and focusing in on a new direction. It may also indicate your ability to see past what is common and spiritually arrive to the point where your inner vision perceives all things in their divine glory - even the simplest of things become imbued with an exquisite quality inherent in all nature.

The symbolic meaning of eyes also carry a message of prophesy - literally seeing "a vision of the future." This translates well with ancient alchemists and astrologers speaking of eyes of the sky foretelling certain events as they chart the stars in certain patterns to ascertain various outcomes.

When we crack this mountain, all hell is going to break loose. And my undies.

I admit, I enjoy Lady Gaga but I love this quote of hers.

"When you listen to a song like 'LoveGame', is it communicating my soul to you? No... I make soulless electronic pop. But when you're on ecstasy in a nightclub grinding up against someone and my music comes on, you'll feel soul."

How can you not like her? Come on!


Another good weekend with good friends. And kitties! I think if I was left alone with a bunch of cats for any amount of time, I would come out the happiest girl ever. I went to a therapist for a while and stopped because he annoyed me by repeating everything I said and nodding his head like an epileptic parrot. Plus he gave me the drugs, and that's pretty much all I needed to start feeling like me again. I haven't taken them in over 6 months though, yay me! Anyway, if I'd just spent that money in a room with cats and kittens all purring and rolling around on me, I probably would've been "cured" a lot faster.

My friend's kitties are getting better. They were running around and jumping and loving everyone last night. Big, big improvement from being all sad and sickly the last couple weeks. We also watched, How to Train Your Dragon. Man, that is one of the best movies of all time. Definitely one of the top animated movies. The details (especially on the characters' clothes and the dragons' scales and skin, and not to sound too gross but the arm hair! Every freckle and hair and blotchiness was so realistic and so well-done!) and characters are just wonderful. I mean, the main girl is kind of obnoxious and does do the dedicate-each-punch-to-something thing that my friend first pointed out to me, which I tire of. It's when a girl character is really badass but every time she hits or punches anyone or anything, she has to say, "And this is for (insert reason/person/assumption about her badassness). It's something that pisses of my good friend to no end and it's caught on to me and it's just like come on! You're pretty great and there aren't that many kick-ass female characters (no there aren't. There are awesome ones, and funny ones, and endearing ones, but besides, like, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, can YOU make a list of ass-kicking femmes? I will soon, but it's Sunday and I don't want to make my brain think) do you have to ruin it with that simpering line? But other than that, she's pretty good and the main guy is dorkily endearing to us girls with soft spots for nerds and the dragons! Okay, I know I have a habit of seeing my Egg in any animal on-screen but even Elliot agreed that Toothless, the main dragon, was pretty much Egglet. Right down to the love of food and barfing on command.

I raved about it when I first saw it on a plane and had to silently freak out in joy as to not wake the other passengers and it's still worth all the hoopla. Elliot adored it too. You must watch it.

Other than that, I cast my mom's co-workers as members of The Muppet Show (she's Miss Piggy), got a pretty interesting book even though it's won the Pulitzer ("Hell" by Robert Olen Butler) which generally goes to books I find boring, and I was asked by some Turkish reporter for a few words about my, "work" and photo. Uhh what? My mom asked around about him and we figured out how he got my name, but I sent a message politely declining. They can write about me after I sell a script or publish a book. Wishful thinking? Yes.

Look at the cute dragon, look!


Pictures I can't stop looking at because I don't have enough words to make a proper post. I'm going to go make chicken fajitas for me and Elliot. It's finally cold out and we've been having such nice evenings comfily watching movies on the couch while Egg sprawls and snores in between us. I like my little Boston family a lot.









I need this ring in my life.





I might have to get this shirt...

It's (Almost) My Party...

My birthday is coming up so I decided to indulge myself and get a couple presents. These were from me to me though, haha. My aunt and various other family members usually give me money and I spend a little of it and deposit the rest but that's a on-the-day-of tradition I follow. I usually set off on the day and get myself something and then call them and thank them for my gift! This happens when I'm in the States and they're not with me though. This year, I'll have my parents and sister here the week before and my boyfriend the weekend and day of but I'm sure at some point during the day, I'll uphold the tradition. For now, this is my birthday gifted items.

Forever 21 isn't really somewhere I shop a lot because we don't have one in Boston and I tend to want to see the things I buy beforehand. But, I've browsed the website on occasion and have found cute, cheap dresses. This one is in the same cut and style as another one I have but I loved the colors and pattern.



Wedges have been really in style lately and I never was a big fan of them but constant viewings and watching how others pull them off have made me start to love them. These are higher heels than I normally ever wear (I'm a strictly no-heel kind of girl with my Converse, Iron Maiden Vans, or any kind of boots staple footwear) but I've been eyeing a similar pair in a store by my house and after seeing them on a couple more websites (Forever 21, ugh but they didn't have it) I figured I'd just go for it and get a pair of wedges that would last unlike the crap H & M makes. Jeffrey Campbell tends to rip off everyone under the sun but these were exactly the shape I wanted; not too boxy and with a clear line between the shoe and the heel/platform.



I always try not to excited about my birthday, I mean it's not like I did much except stubbornly refuse to come out on the given day and waited until Friday the 13th, but the anticipation just creeps up. And then I have a shitty day and get all sad especially when a certain cousin doesn't call (two years straight, let's see if we can make it three). But eh, I shouldn't complain. I have my health (ish), I have friends and a lot of family either near-by or willing to be, and it should be a nice day. Not WHOA AMAZING, but nice. I appreciate nice.

You pull the trigger of my... LOVE GUUUUN.

Augh, it has been a busy few days.

On Friday, Egg and I arrived in Boston around 8 pm. I realized, in Germany where our connecting flight was, that I'd forgotten her papers in Istanbul so I was definitely holding my breath as we walked by the customs guards. I put her case on the cart and hoped they'd just think it was another bag and we sailed right through. Not that they've really stopped me before, the one other time I traveled back with Egglet they just asked to see her, checked her eyes to make sure she was healthy, and didn't do much but glance at her papers. But, I didn't want to risk it. Good news for us but bad news for America; I could've been carrying a rabid zombie psycho cat that was hellbent on destruction and no one would've been the wiser. But a rabid zombie psycho cat probably would've made a fuss unlike my Eggalita who just kind of sat there watching the world. She was such a good girl. Except, she got bored or fed up or something near the end of the trip because the last couple hours she kept trying to dig herself out of her case. She mewed and pawed so much I finally had to unzip the case and hold her a bit (without letting the stewardesses see that she was out). I popped her back in after fixing her blankets but she wasn't having any of it. But other than that, she just quietly slept all the way back.

The airport was a mess in Istanbul and the crowd and heat and the slow movement of the passport control line finally made me snap at the guy working. I felt bad but come on, an hour waiting in line to get through passport control is ridiculous. It wasn't the official's fault and I do regret taking it out on him but our airport needs to wake up and get moving. There is no need to have empty control booths and no air conditioning.

Elliot arrived from Austin Texas, where his work has sent him for the next month and a half, about an hour after I did and after he cuddled and said his hellos to Miss Egg (and vice versa, she went running to him meowing in this hilarious scratchy voice that made her sound like an old lady), he sent a message off to one of our friends casually inquiring what he and the others were up to. We tried not to give away too much and when we showed up at their door there was plenty of excited cheering. And this was a huge ego boost; there was an even louder bellow when I walked in after him. I've missed my friends and I can't even begin to describe how delighted they made me when they each personally told me how good happy they were I was back.

We watched a movie and ended up at a new bar which was kind of hipster central but not as bad as our old bar. Better music too, Queen was played. At around midnight Elliot noticed I was falling asleep in my chair (at this point I'd been awake for exactly 24 hours, I didn't sleep on either plane), so we said our good-byes and left. There was a pretty cartoony thump when I finally got home and passed out on my bed.

Oh, the reason I didn't sleep on the plane? I was too busy watching the best movie ever; How to Train Your Dragon. It is probably the best Dreamworks animated movie. The main dragon called Toothless the Night Fury reminded me of Egg and all the characters and creatures were just amazing. Elliot didn't want to beleve it surpassed Kung Fu Panda, his Dreamworks movie of choice. I admit, it's a pretty close tie. Heh, as Elliot put it, it's so obvious what our tastes are; he likes martial arts and weird animals so he goes with Kung Fu Panda while I love mythology and weird animals so I get How to Train Your Dragon. But come on! Animated Vikings punching dragons and then having them as pets!

Saturday morning, my darling boyfriend and I lazed around the house and played with our little kitty. The previous animated movie discussion propelled us to buy Kung Fu Panda so we had our customary before concert meal of Thai food while watching it. Oh yes, concert. The doors were ridiculously early so we set off around 4 to catch the commuter rail up to Mansfield to see... KISS!

God, it was such a good show. So. Good. It was everything you expect from a KISS show. Explosions and fire and blood and I reviewed it for MetalSucks so you can go ahead and read it here. I think it merits it's own post too though, so I'll save it for later.

It was a weirdly family-oriented show, so many parents with their kids, so we didn't think we could really hitchhike back. Calm down, I don't mean standing at the side of the road with out thumbs out. At another Mansfield show, Judas Priest, Elliot and I ddn't have a ride back (my cousin had dropped us off and the commuter rail stopped at some stupdly early hour like 10 pm) so we stood in the parking lot yelling/asking if anyone was going back to Boston. A nice couple gave us a ride back. They were so weird though. She had a thing for sprinklers and after they dropped us off they made plans to go run through them, while he was a hippie who didn't like metal, who went to a Judas Priest show. Nice couple, just odd. Anyway, we didn't think families with kids would voluntarily pick up strangers so we took a 70$ cab ride back to Boston and for the second night in a row, I passed out as soon as my head hit the pillow.

Sunday, since Elliot was leaving early in the afternoon, we decided to go have some Indian food at our pace, India Quality. I don't know why but we always end up there right before one of us gets on a plane. My diet wasn't strictly followed this weekend but I wasn't too bad and right now I'm trying to stick to it as best as I can. I have fruits and veggies and salad and I just need to get my body used to be being back in Boston because I know I'm retaining water; I feel heavier if that makes sense. But, my dietician allowed Indian food so I just didnt have the bread which is a big deal for me. Turkish/Iranian girl who loves Indian food not eating naan? Unheard of.

It was a little sad saying bye-bye to my Elliot but I'll see him soon. At least he's only one timezone away and still in the same country. This was the most fun weekend I've had in a long time and I'm really happy he came up, it wouldn't have been the same without him. This week has been so busy so far, and it's only Tuesday. I went to the apartment walk-through and closing, took measurements, got all the new furniture settled for the new place, arranged movers, contacted a painter and floor buffer, got in touch with a cleaning service, arranged electricity transfers of service as well as cable, contacted landlady about problems in the current apartment and assured my bank my identity hadn't been stolen due to the sudden increase of activity on my card. I even managed to get to the gym today! I cheated a bit with dinner because I'm not supposed to mix carbohydrates and meat and I had (whole wheat) spaghetti and meatballs, but I kept the portion small.

I'm getting a little paranoid and nervous about my whole diet issues because it's beyond just losing weight. After all those tests and countless tubes of drawn blood, and even a thyroid x-ray (it's in the throat. I don't know why I never knew that but your thyroid is in your throat) my doctor said I had the beginnings of diabetes and my thyroid was not working properly. I had a couple of setback this week; didn't eat quite as well as I should have and had maybe too many sugary things because EVERYTHING has sugar in it. Though I probably shouldn't have sneaked a couple of Gummi Bears. Sugar is now my sworn enemy and I can't have it unless it's naturally in fruit and even then I have to have nuts like almonds or hazelnuts with it so my system doesn't go crazy. I lost almost 4 kilos in a month at home and I just don't want my efforts to go to waste, as well as my health. But by being careful and going to the gym I think I'll manage.

The next week will be more packing up and moving and getting new apartment stuff organized. Tomorrow I'm going to start packing up the books and movies and my clothes and try to sort out all the itty bitty junk stuff (I have two of those stacked drawer sets filled with junk) and organize/get rid of it. Right now I'm relaxing on my couch with my kitty curled up so close, her butt is squished on me and watching Dazed and Confused. It's kind of fitting well with this post with the amount of classic rock, including KISS, songs it has. I like it a lot though it makes me nostalgic for a time and events I've nothing to do with. Trying to get laid while partying the summer before your freshmen (or senior depending on the characters) in the '70s? Yeah, not me. Here's some tumblr inspiration since this is a pretty long, all-text post.




Bizarro (bottom half of) me, and Egglet?

Don't want to kiss, don't want to touch, just smoke one cigarette and hush

I don't know if anyone outside my family does this but when we love, love, love a song, we will play it non-stop over and over again, days on end. Then we'll get sick of it but return back to the routine a day later. I've burned myself off so many songs that way but after I suck every bit of life I can out of it, I always come back months later and most remain among my top favorites. Right now the two songs I'm alternating between are Tarkan- Öp and Lady Gaga- Alejandro. Tarkan's song is obvious why, especially after last weekend but honestly, it confused me to that I like Lady Gaga. Logically, she's everything I don't like in music/artists; faux edginess and art school hipsterism combined to deliberately cause controversy with songs that aren't anything to write home about. But... she's SO damn catchy and I just appreciate her aesthetic. She's not boring. Doesn't even come close to Madonna, as some seem to think, but she's working an industry to her liking and making a name for herself, and a shit-ton of money so good for her. And she also got to make out with the Swedish Sunset (S)triplets* and Alexander Skarsgaard in her videos so there's that bit of envy. Oh, that's another thing. She makes music videos. They have stories and budgets and set-ups and scenes. She makes them mini-movies which is what they ought to be. Actually, that might be the biggest thing. She's a pop star in the truest sense of the word. She doesn't spare anything when it comes to her image whether it be a concert, a video, or a public appearance.

*Guess which one is Gaga!


Here are my sister's pictures from the Tarkan show as well as the video for, "Alejandro," which is excellent. It's so weird and sexual and she's so androgynously ugly that it basically is modern art; no one gets it. She does draw a lot of inspiration from Madonna though, that much is clear.
















Lady Gaga - Alejandro
Uploaded by UniversalMusicGroup. - Music videos, artist interviews, concerts and more.

Bonus, "Paparazzi," video because mmm Alexander Skarsgaard.

Lady Gaga - Paparazzi
Uploaded by UniversalMusicGroup. - See the latest featured music videos.

It ain't the flash man, it's down to attitude

There have been so many easy to replicate, DIY fashion pieces popping up everywhere that I kind of want to try out. Especially the pins on a blazer look.



From blogger Sea of Shoes.

I loved this look from a couple months back and a recent blog did their version of it (the above picture) and it got me thinking about my own pin collection. I have quite a few pins, I used to collect them when I was younger, and they've just been hanging out in a box at home. I'm not really the blazer type but I rather like Silence and Noise's casual take on it. I also saw one in Zara recently, made of sweatshirt material, that seemed less business-woman and more me.


Then of course there's the studding everything I can find phase I seem to be going through. I want a pair of jeans like this:



And these which I keep reposting everywhere but it's been almost a year and I still love them and I will make them happen.



Oh and of course, studded boots. But not Docs. Knee-high leather or suede are more my style.


I have a new vest I'll be working on when I get back to Boston. Denim vests seem best suited for Viking metal band patches (well, technically they're for thrash bands but I favor Vikings over thrashers) and this is the patch I'll be working in as well as playing with different sized and shaped studs.



Free People always seemed a little hippie-dippy to me but my sister always manages to find cool pieces and make them look good. I guess I'm just terrible at mixing and matching because I can't do more than the basic pairing of tops and bottoms but I love all the outfits created on the website, especially these three. Time to start experimenting I guess.




Oh, and I might be a little late to the party on this, but how amazing is Daphne Guinness?