So I've been uncomfortable with my body for a while now and I decided it's time to do something about it. Since I've been home I've been eating better and trying to get in 40 minutes of work out time on the elliptical thing we have. It's that machine that makes you move your arms and legs at the same time and makes you push and run and pedal backwards and all sorts of crap. I'm going to pick up pilates again when I'm back in Boston (the kitteh and I leave Istanbul at 5:50 am Monday) and maybe try to do the elliptical stuff too, I'm sure there is a gym near my place. I've actually lost a little weight in the last month and a half, about 2 kilos (4 pounds I think?) which doesn't sound like much but is on my frame. When I gain weight it goes to my chest, ass, and stomach so even a little bit off makes me look more in shape. My goal is about 4 more kilos.
I've always been self-conscious about my body as I think most girls are, sadly. But in the last year or so there have been so many huge hits to my system (hormones, medications, weight loss and gain) that it's really made me unsatisfied and unhappy with how I look. It feels good to be doing something about it though and getting results and I'm going to stick with it, even in Boston where I tend to eat out too much and neglect my veggies and salads. Working out and exercise have always been those things that I just never wanted to do. I have friends and family members that swear by keeping in shape and healthy and it's just like, dude calm down, who needs to waste three hours of their life doing butt clenches? However, adapting it to stuff I can do and not necessarily enjoy but be comfortable with is proving to be a good thing, both physically and mentally.
Working out has also helped me catch up on my stories haha. An episode of Chuck is about 40 minutes so I just load it up, set the computer in front of me, and watch as I torture myself. I highly recommend Chuck by the way. I fell in love with that show over the summer and though the first season was fun, the second season was just the most wonderful geek television in ever. It's now well into the third season and it still gives me joy and random bursts of love, especially when it plays music like David Lee Roth's, "Just Like Paradise."
Sometimes, when I don't feel up to the full 40 minutes (and when I was just starting out), I do 20 minutes. Just so I can get the blood pumping and sweat pouring and not feel like a complete fatty fat fat. That's when I break out the Madonna. There's nothing quite like pushing yourself to the limit, at 1 in the morning while the rest of your family is asleep, and "Jump," (Which I always begin with because it's so damn energizing. The intro with, "Thank you for coming to our show the night is young and the show has just begun," followed my GET READY TO JUMP ARE YOU READY TO JUMP DON'T EVER LOOK BACK and I CAN MAKE IT ALONE, I CAN MAKE IT ALONE I CAN MAKE IT MAKE IT just gets my heart racing and adrenaline not so much flowing but jetting through my whole system and it's such a GOOD. SONG. Yes, caps lock was necessary, like I ever use it without reason psh) is pounding in your ears. We have a view of the street right in front of our elliptical machine and the other night, as Madonna in the live version of "Like A Prayer," ordered the audience and me to put our/my hands up, anyone walking by would've gotten a pretty hilarious eyeful had they happened to glance up. Me, in my glasses, with my hair pulled up and held back, wearing a pair of short grey sweatpants and a loose yet pretty top (come on now, I do not work out. I am the patron saint of not working out, do you think I have the clothes for it?), and my Iron Maiden slip-ons as I have no athletic footwear, enthusiastically pedalling at full speed while bouncing up and down and waving my arms and whisper-screaming along with the words. I now have new respect for performers who dance and sing at the same time, no lip-syncing. I wasn't even singing out loud and I was gasping and choking. And this was for 20 minutes! Madonna, how you last for a two hour show is beyond me. But I do now understand your scary biceps (seriously, she could choke a bear with those arms).
On another plus side, I have now managed something that was pretty much the impossible in high school. The six minute mile.
If do this in public, I of course won't be bringing my laptop to the gym so it'll just be music, and no dancing along with the music either. So I kind of cherish those few nights rocking out to Madonna on the elliptical, while snow came hurtling down in full view of the window before me. Yes me, the girl morally against to working out and dieting. Hey, I'm still eating and I'm certainly not dedicating my life to getting toned guns but you know, maybe all this exercise stuff isn't that bad. Don't tell anyone I said that. Especially my dear aunt that used to have a certain fondness for poking me in the belly and suggesting yoga.
Yes I'm ready to jump
Just take my hand
Get ready to jump
Are you ready?