A couple weeks ago I went with my father to his horseland. By horseland I mean the stables and horseback riding premises where he rides and also keeps his own horse, Lulu. Though I've seen all his other horses over the years, (fucking Nelson sneezed horse mucus all over me) this was the first time I met Miss Lulu. She was a beautiful yet skittish lady of a deep brown color while her mane and tail were swishy black. My dad has loved horses and horseback riding for as long as I can remember. We even found pictures of him atop a horse when he was no older than eight with a huge, cheeky grin plastered across his face. Though we, as a family, and I, by myself, used to accompany him a lot on his horse times on weekends in the past, these last few years he's just been going by himself. Whenever I come back to Istanbul we usually have some father-daughter time set aside to just talk and hang out but instead of going out to eat, I thought I'd just come out with him early one Saturday morning.
Stopping to pick up some much needed coffee, we got to the stables around 9:30 and were greeted by the sweetest dog. He just came up to me and rested his head on my leg and let me pet him as if to say, you're okay. Since my dad has been going there for years everyone pretty much knew him and greeted him as such. My dad is also a very personable and friendly man and so of course he had his share of buddies and acquaintances who came up and sad hello throughout our time there. I even had the pleasure of eavesdropping on a group of crusty old men, probably caretakers, who were watching the riders and talking about my dad and his famous falls (broke an arm, some ribs, bruises everywhere etc). While I was watching him warm up Lulu alongside the other riders, a little kitty came up and pretty much threw himself at me. Mewing and head-butting me, he kept me company as I pet and rubbed him all over and admired all the horses. I never was a horse girl, though I tried to be, but some were so pretty. There was even one whose tail was exactly how I wanted my hair, black with white blonde streaks. Oh and for the record, my hair is currently dark dark brown with a few Cruella DeVille streaks and it looks fantastic. But anyway, it was such a nice atmosphere there; horses, millions of cats, and just people happy to be doing what they do. I don't know if it was all the animals, because let's face it, I turn into a mushy squealing retard when there are fuzzy animals around, but the entire place had such a nice aura. My dad told me about his friend whose son was such a manic mess that his doctor recommended the parents get a horse for the boy because the animal would take away his nervous energy and maybe help him settle. Riding and taking care of it would help exorcise his restlessness. I can believe it because it's such a calming air in there and my dad swears his horse just takes away his "bad energy." I mean yeah, horses aren't the coolest of cucumbers (I can't believe I just wrote that. I'm tired and can't think of clever metaphors right now) and even Lulu snorted and jumped whenever the door banged but well, I can't explain it. It was such a blissful envirnment. My dad, after two hours, was covered in sweat and basically trudged exhausted towards me, but he had the most relaxed, happy expression on his face.
As we drove back home, he told me that whenever he goes riding, he just lets go of everything and enjoys the moment, then and there, riding with his horsey. I wish I had something like that. Something I loved and could do on a daily or regular basis that got my mind off of everything and let me just enjoy doing whatever it is. My dad has his horses, my boyfriend has his muay thai where he joyfully beats up pro thai fighters, and my little cousins have their tennis and their little tennis social club, but I don't know what it is I like that I could be passionate about. I enjoyed my pilates classes but I wasn't chomping at the bit (hur hur I made a funny) to get down there and assume the, "table-top position." I mean, the thing that gives me most joy is probably my kitty. And movies. I'm kind of combining them right now; my sister and I are watching Lilo & Stitch (it's kind of "our" movie) and my little Stitch is currently admiring her reflection in the mirror on the referierator (oh sorry, now she's trying to get into the plants in the living room) but I can't just sit on my ass and watch movies while I clutch my cat all the time because I'm saving that for when I'm 90 and a crazy cat lady. I need something more active, not passive. Suggestions?
My daddy and I had a nice rest of the day too, he took me out to lunch and to Zara where I got a pretty shirt and then we came home to my mom and sister. Heh, he has his ladies; me, my mom, my sister, Lulu and now Eggolita. I wish I had my "thing" too.
"I can't even pet it! It keeps looking at me like it's going to eat me!" This is the best movie. My cat is so an alien like Stitch.
Hey Leyla, I've just read a couple of your posts and thought I'd comment on this, since you asked for suggestions. I was going to suggest reading be your escape, but from what I understand reading is more of a business/stressful activity for you. I've never been much of an exercise person either, but I have SO much fun taking long walks and listening to my music. I get myself to an area where I'm pretty sure no one is around and I give the local flora and fauna an energetic performance. I'm probably singing off key because of my headphones in my ears, but whatever. Rabbits don't judge.
ReplyDeleteWhat I would really recommend, though, is having at least 30 minutes of quiet time every day. Time when you don't have music in your ears, or TV on, or the computer in front of you. My "quiet time" (I put it in quotation marks because it's actually really noisy) is my commute to and from work. I take the bus, and I use the time to people watch. It's nice to just shut up and listen and look for a while.
I don't know if any of this is helpful to you, but I hope it gives you some ideas. I'm not particularly passionate about one thing either (theater is fun, but not a passion, I love dogs but don't think I'll be a professional dog trainer, love to read but don't feel I can write insightful reviews), but I do a bit of all of them to help me get out my negative energy. The key is to be, as the French put it, "bien dans sa peau," or "comfortable in one's skin." It sounds to me like you are. :o)